kiss the goat issue #1

The first issue of kiss the goat is now available. Click here to download or contact me for a free copy in the parcel.

                 That afternoon you and I made love
   and talked about our future, and our
    child.

  Later we were sitting on the balcony
      and he passed below us without
        looking up.

        Just the sight of him stirred me deeply
  and I thought if he wanted me, I could
   not have resisted.  I thought I was
   ready to give up you,
       the child, my whole future.

  And yet at the same time - if you can
  understand it - you were dearer to me
  than ever, and I stroked your forehead
    and kissed your hair, and at that
     moment my love for you was both
      tender and sad.

  At dinner I wore a white rose and you
        said I was very beautiful.  It might not
  have been just an accident that he and
         his friends sat near us.

     He didn't look up but I actually
  considered getting up, walking over to
     him and like someone in a movie,
  saying, 'Here I am, my love, for whom
        I have waited - take me.'

        Well, it was about then that the waiter
  brought him the envelope.  He read it,
        turned pale, said goodbye to his friends
  - and glancing at me mysteriously, he
       left the room.

  I barely slept that night and woke up
       the next morning very agitated.  I didn't
  know whether I was afraid that he had
      left or that he might still be there...  But
  by dinner I realised he was gone and I
        breathed a sigh of relief.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    ALICE
      Even more than you did me.  We
     made love and it was wonderful,
        though there was a sadness to it, and a
   presentment of sorrow.
   Suddenly it was morning and we were
      somewhere in the strange city.
   We were still completely alone.  But
  something terrible had happened - our
        clothes were gone.  I was terrified as I
  had never been before, and felt such a
  burning shame that it almost consumed
     me.
   At the same time I was furious with
        you because I thought it was your fault.
        And this sensation of terror, shame and
      fury was more intense than any
     emotion I had ever felt before.
  You felt guilty and rushed away naked,
      to go and get clothes for us.
     As soon as you were gone I felt
       wonderful.  I neither felt sorry for you,
  or worried about you.  It was heavenly
        to be alone.
        I was lying in a lush garden, stretched
        out naked in the sunlight, and I was far
    more beautiful than I ever was in
          reality.
    And while I lay there, a young man
   walked out of the woods.  He was the
   young Naval officer I told you about
      from the hotel.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
  

    ALICE
      Even more than you did me.  We
     made love and it was wonderful,
        though there was a sadness to it, and a
   presentment of sorrow.
   Suddenly it was morning and we were
      somewhere in the strange city.
   We were still completely alone.  But
  something terrible had happened - our
        clothes were gone.  I was terrified as I
  had never been before, and felt such a
  burning shame that it almost consumed
     me.
   At the same time I was furious with
        you because I thought it was your fault.
        And this sensation of terror, shame and
      fury was more intense than any
     emotion I had ever felt before.
  You felt guilty and rushed away naked,
      to go and get clothes for us.
     As soon as you were gone I felt
       wonderful.  I neither felt sorry for you,
  or worried about you.  It was heavenly
        to be alone.
        I was lying in a lush garden, stretched
        out naked in the sunlight, and I was far
    more beautiful than I ever was in
          reality.
    And while I lay there, a young man
   walked out of the woods.  He was the
   young Naval officer I told you about
      from the hotel.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

children in sweaters

lifestyle of the dAMNED